Help Empathy Help You!

You use empathy every single time you help an elderly person up slippery stairs, strain up on tiptoe to grasp a product someone can’t reach, or simply smile at someone you pass in the course of your working day. Such actions can not only change the course of a day, but turn the course of a life in a more beneficial direction for themselves and those whose lives they touch thanks to the simplest of actions.

I believe we all have innate shields or guards in place to protect us from giving too much. Yet despite this, I’m positive you can think of a few people who have given far too much to people far less thankful for what they are getting than they should be. If you happen to be one of these people…and being an older soul, odds are high that you are, I’d like to see you spend more time on you than others around you, yet empathy works against me when advising clients just like yourself to do just that. Why? Because you understand through many lifetimes (discount this sentence if it in any way interferes with your own deeply held beliefs) exactly what it feels to be the person who looks around for help and doesn’t get it when needed. This is what makes you special. But it can also detract from achieving your own goals, add to your stress, and make you cynical and jaded, if left unattended to. There is balance to be found, but it involves developing the hardest type of empathy any older soul can develop: to have empathy and understanding for yourself, as well as others.

A life of service to others is admirable, but only when built on the foundation of caring enough for yourself that you say no. At the very least, you should consider using empathy to help others while at the same time helping yourself. It might seem crass and self serving, but you may find that perks come to you when you thank the customer service representative or technical support person helping you. Many pleasant surprises await you when you do go out of your way to understand and appreciate someone who is not accustomed to being thanked for the service they provide. Accept what kindness – and sometimes even discounts or preferential treatment – is offered your way with gratitude and the certain knowledge it was only offered to you because you lightened the burden one other soul was carrying. Of course, that should be an aim of every soul on this earth, but as we know, that simply isn’t the case. Your own empathy is what makes you stand out. It is what makes you unique. It helps you connect with every single person around you, and as you know yourself, the most lasting impressions are always the most positive ones. Dwelling on the negative often brings more of the same, but using our empathy to help others fulfill their need to be heard is always going to be a gift worth giving.

© Leah  

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Date: 11-04-'18

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